Friday Night Drinks
by fight4foo
Summary: Renji's late for the Friday night meeting and his friends give him a hard time. ByakuyaxRenji?
1. I like tits

**Friday Night Drinks  
Word Count:** 650  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairings:** ByakuyaxRenji  
**Summary:** Renji's late for the Friday night "meeting" and his friends give him a hard time.

* * *

Abarai Renji hurried through the streets, ignoring the curious glances he received from the people he raced by. He was already half an hour late and he dared not be any tardier or he would miss out on all the fun. Street vendors called out to him to stop and buy food while more than one prostitute tried to latch onto him as he hurried through the red light district to his destination. At last Renji skidded around a corner and took a moment to stop and breathe as his destination was in sight. He started up again, racing towards the entrance to the bar chosen for tonight's gathering.

A bell tinkled from the depths of the store as Renji opened the front door, but its noise was lost in the din coming from the stereo and more than one drunken shout. For a moment he stood in the doorway, catching his breath and looking around for his friends. He located them sitting at a grimy table on the opposite side of the room and he hurried forward to join them.

Hisagi Shuuhei looked up from the bottle he was nursing at the other vice-captain. "About time you got here. We were just about ready to go to your house to see if you were there. We didn't want to you miss out on your night off."

"Shut up," Renji growled as he sat down next to the other shinigami, "You lot would have only come to my place to see if I had anything to drink so you didn't have to pay. I was at work."

"Kuchiki-taichou keep you late again?" Ikkaku questioned from the other side of the table as he poured Renji a glass of whatever it was they were drinking.

Renji took a sip of the offered drink and then looked up at the other man. "Yeah, he did but-"

Everyone burst out noisily laughing at this. "You are sooo his bitch, you know that Renji," Ikkaku declared loudly, thumping the other on the back.

"Grr, get off me. I am not," Renji scowled, knocking Ikkaku away from him.

"But it's true-" he started again, before getting punched in the face by Renji.

"Presonally," Kira started up from the other side of the table, "I think it's a good thing to be so close to your captain."

"Oh, shut up, you're just saying that because you miss Gin," Iba called out drunkenly.

Kira looked slightly hurt and exclaimed, "I'm not! It is important, and, also, I mean it's not as thought Kuchiki-taichou is bad looking…"

"Ugh, Kira," Renji muttered, "I like tits." After another moment thinking he added, "And I'm sure taichou does too."

Everyone- included Kira- laughed at the idea of the esteemed head of the Kuchiki household thinking about anything other than work.

"Heh," Shuuhei started, trying to stop laughing, "I bet the guy hasn't gotten any for decades, if ever. He's always acting so uptight, like there's a stick stuck up his ass."

"Well it sure ain't mine," Renji exclaimed, to howls of laughter. "He's just got morals, unlike you lot."

"Maybe you're both a little too moral, Renji," Iba called out, "I mean, how long is it since you last got any?"

Renji muttered something that none of them could hear. "Exactly," Iba started again, "You probably don't even know what kind of girl you would want."

"Sure I do," Renji said as he took another gulp from his glass, "She would have to be pretty, tall, but not taller than me, and pale, preferably with black hair."

"Hmm," Ikkaku snorted, "Sound like you just described Rukia-san."

"Or Kuchiki-taichou," Kira added.

"Ugh, come on, Rukia's… just a childhood friend and taichou's a guy," Renji scowled, "You stay out of this Kira. Just shut up you lot and hand me another bottle. I'm way too sober to be having a conversation like this."


	2. You should get out more

Word Count: 939  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: ByakuyaxRenji  
Summary: Byakuya really needs to get out more often.

* * *

Kuchiki Byakuya was a man of habit. That is why, every Friday night he spent the same way: staying late at work, followed by arriving home after dark, eating dinner and then going to bed. Every week without fail he followed this routine. Most people would call it boring, but it suited him just fine. That is why Byakuya was currently wondering why the hell he was in a tiny, grungy bar on the opposite side of town from his office and about a million miles from his home.

Earlier that day Renji had arrived back at division six headquarters exhausted yet pleased after defeating one of the toughest hollows he'd ever been against. As he collapsed on the couch in Byakuya's office, he let out a sigh. The Kuchiki heir merely looked up from his papers and raised an eyebrow.

"That took fairly long," he commented idly.

Renji raised his head slightly to look at his captain before flopping back down. "Neh, it was a lot more powerful than we thought. Damn thing kept regenerating."

Byakuya looked down at his work again and for a long time neither one of them said anything. Every now and then Renji would sigh happily, reliving the excitement of the battle.

"Well done then," Byakuya commented casually, not even glancing up.

At this, however, Renji sat up fully and looked at the other man. Never before had he been given a compliment. "Ah, thank you."

Again the only noise in the room was the soft shuffle of papers every now and then. Renji teetered back and forth on the edge of the sofa, until he seemed to come to whatever he was looking for. "I was wondering, taichou, do you wanna come for drinks with us tonight?"

If he was at all uncertain about inviting the Kuchiki heir along, it was worth it just to see the momentary look of surprise on his captain's face. Quickly, Byakuya righted his face back into the mask of indifference he always wore.

"You mean with you guys…at a bar…?" Byakuya asked hesitantly. Renji was about to explode trying to contain his laughter at how lost the other man seemed.

"Yeah, I mean you're not that much older, not that it matters. We just get together to relax."

It seemed as though the concept of "relaxing" was foreign Byakuya, as he sat for a long time with his brow creased in thought. "Alright…I suppose." After all, Rukia was constantly telling him that he needed to get out more.

Byakuya seemed completely out of place in the dingy bar. Everything about him screamed "nobility" and that certainly wasn't what the tiny sagging building said. Heads turned as they walked by towards Renji's usual table at the back. When they stopped in front of the other vice-captains no one spoke for a moment as they tried to figure out what the hell the honorable sixth captain was doing there. Byakuya was thinking about the same thing.

"Yo, hey you guys. Budge up and make some room for us," Renji called out loudly, dispelling the akward moment. He slid into a chair next to Ikkaku with Byakuya on his other side.

"You see," Ikkaku whispered into his ear, "I told you you're his bitch."

Renji dealt him a swift kick to the shin, "Shuddup, I invited him."

On his other side Kira and Shuuhei were trying to engage the captain into a conversation. "So, what do you do outside of work?" Kira started timidly.

"I train," Byakuya said solemnly.

Shuuhei threw an uncertain look to Kira, "That sounds…fun."

"Hey, Kuchiki-taichou, is it true you never take those hair-curler-thingys out, even to sleep?" Iba called out. Byakuya's frown merely deepened and the tension in the air rose.

"This sucks, why did you bring him?" Ikkaku whispered once more into Renji's ear.

Renji, however, chose to ignore this as he cried, "You know what the problem is? We don't have anything to drink! I would have thought you all would have gotten some first thing when you got here."

"Nah," Shuuhei drawled, "Remember you said you would pay tonight? After what you put us through last time…"

"Yeah, I've never seen anyone so drunk in my life," Kira piped up.

"Shuddup," Renji retorted, already standing up, "It was your guys' fault I was anyways."

"Hey, you wouldn't mind us telling Kuchiki-taichou about that would you?" Iba leared.

Renji just glared and headed over to the bar while Byakuya looked around questioningly.

No one spoke as they watched Renji approach the bar, the same tense atmosphere settling in. The saw him approach the bar where Zaraki (and Yachiru) were already arguing with the bartender. Renji attempted to interrupt them, further enraging the fearsome eleventh division captain. In a quick one handed more Zaraki had upended a pitcher and stuck in firmly on Renji's head. Really he was lucky that was all that happened to him.

Renji walked back to the table, fuming at this indignity. "That bastard! All I wanted was a drink and he was in the way so…" But he trailed off when he noticed no one was listening, but trying not to laugh.

And then he heard a loud laugh. Completely surprised, the whole table looked over to Kuchiki Byakuya, who had his head thrown back was laughing deeply at the ridiculous picture his subordinate painted with a pitcher stuck on his head. Slowly everyone else joined in, even Renji cracked a smile. 'Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea inviting him…'

"Hey, you guys…a little help here? I can't get this off."

Even more laughter.

"No, I'm serious…"


	3. Never shirk your duties

Word Count: 481  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: Zaraki, Yachiru, Renji  
Summary: Damn Yumichika and damn bartenders.

* * *

"Look, all I want is one fucking drink after a long day fighting hollows. Why the hell can't I have that?" Zaraki boomed at the small bartender standing before him. 

"I'm sorry sir, but we cannot allow you anything as long as she's with you," he made a gesture at the small girl sitting on the enormous man's shoulder.

Zaraki growled, "I'm not give any to her, I just need some for myself." He momentarily emitted a little more spiritual energy in hopes of intimidating the other man. Damn Yumichika for not showing up on his night to baby-sit.

But, the bartender would not budge on his position, "Sir, you cannot do that. She shouldn't even be in here since she's well below the age limit."

In any other circumstances the blood-thirsty captain might have admired the courage (or maybe stupidity) the other man was showing by standing up to him, but right now he was too annoyed. "God dammit, _she's_ a vice-captain, so those kinds of rules don't really apply. Just give me the fucking drink!" As he shouted his spiritual energy flared wildly.

"Oooh, you're makin Ken-chan angry!" Yachiru called out happily, "I wouldn't do that if I were you!"

Only now did the bartender show any signs of fear, "If y-y-you want to g-g-get a drink, you could l-l-leaver her outside. I-I'm sure she would b-b-be fine."

Zaraki snorted, "I wouldn't be worried about her safety. I'd be more afraid for anyone who runs into her."

"Then there would be lots of blood!" Yachiru squealed.

The bartender looked ready to piss his pants when a distraction showed up in the form of Abarai Renji. "Yo, can't you see I'm waiting over here! A little help!"

"Um, yes sir, how could I help you?" the man looked relieved at having another customer to serve.

"I want-" Renji started, but Zaraki cut him off.

"Wait a minute, can't you see we're being helped here?" he growled.

Renji made up for what he lacked in strength by sheer nerve, "And you were taking too long."

Really, it should be common knowledge by now not to mess with an angry Zaraki, but apparently Renji had missed the message. In a swift, one-handed move, the eleventh division captain had picked up a pitcher and stuck it firmly on the other man's head. He was about to do far worse, but a terrified gasp from the bartender and a round of applause from Yachiru reminded him where he was.

"Dammit, let's get the hell out of here," he muttered before storming out. "Yumichika's gonna get it for this."

Yachiru adjusted slightly on his back so she could see over his head. "Will it be painful?" she asked.

"You be it."

"Oooh, can I help?" Yachiru clapped her hands together in excitement.

"Sure, I don't see why not," Zaraki grinned. Things were getting better already.


	4. You are beautiful

Word Count: 391  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: Yumichika, Soi Fong  
Summary: Everyone can be beautiful

* * *

"Come on, all you have to do is smile, like this," Yumichika let loose a dazzling grin, complete with sparkles.

"How the hell do you do that," Soi Fong asked, ogling at the suddenly shimmering air.

Yumichika came behind her to rest his hands on her shoulders, "I could teach you. Without that constant smile, you would be truly beautiful."

Soi Fong quickly stepped away from the energetic shinigami, "No way, I don't wanna be a fucking pansy like you."

At this he frowned slightly, "But your language is so ugly, we must work on that as well."

"Oh no," Soi Fong called back as she began to walk away, "You're not working on anything. I'm perfectly fine; so get the fuck away before I kill you."

"There is no way I could possibly do that. I know that with just a little work, even just a simple smile, and you would be the second most beautiful person in the entire Soul Society," Yumichika stated matter of factly as he raced after her.

Soi Fong stopped and stared at him, "Second, to who?"

"Why me, of course," he cried out happily, preening himself.

"Figures," she muttered, before continuing to stomp off.

Soi Fong cursed every god in existence that she was plagued with this idiot. Seriously, it wasn't her fault he had decided to latch onto her for the day, insisting that she be "beautiful." It had all started when she'd gone to the eleventh division to deliver some paperwork to Kenpachi. This idiot and his even stupider bald friend had been standing there. Soi Fong watched as an exuberant Vice Captain Kusajishi had come and latched onto the baldy's head, biting at it excitedly. Honestly, who wouldn't laugh at the idiots? But, Yumichika had decided that the laughing Captain would pass his standards for beauty, if only she smiled more. So, for the whole afternoon he had been hounding her to smile once more.

"See? All you have to do is pull your lips back, like this," Yumichika shouted from behind her, as he forced her lips towards her ears.

"What the fuck!" Soi Fong cried in surprise, quickly moving away, "Look, the only way you're getting a smile out of me is if those two idiots from before appear."

Yumichika grinned evilly, "That can be arranged…"

Soi Fong gulped.


	5. Stay Put

Word Count: 716  
Rating: R? only a little smut.  
Pairings: ByakuRen  
Summary: (This is on a completely different timeline from the rest) Renji's under arrest and everyone seems to know.

* * *

"So, I see you got yourself placed under house arrest yet again," Byakuya commented, letting himself into the small apartment. 

Renji looked up from where he was laying on the sofa, staring off into space, to glare at his captain, "You mean _you_ placed me under house arrest, again."

Byakuya chuckled softly in a way that made shivers run up and down Renji's spine, "Well you did release your zanpakutou in the Soul Society, which is against the rules. I had no choice." He sidled up to the sofa where Renji lay and sat beside his head.

"I had no choice! Zaraki was on the rampage looking for Yachiru-fukutaichou and I had to protect myself. He was clearing out everything in his path, even buildings!" Renji argued earnestly.

"Well as convincing as that may be, I suggest you don't let it happen again," he cupped the red head's face and leant in for a kiss. "Besides, it's rather…convenient to have you stuck in this room."

"That's what you think," Renji muttered before sitting up to face his captain.

Byakuya stared back at him evenly, before pushing the red head back onto the sofa and ravishing him. Renji protested weakly, but eventually gave in to the captain's talented lips. He was breathing heavily as Byakuya began to make his way down the other man's neck, kissing and nipping alternately.

"Want…on top…." Renji panted before letting out a loud moan.

The noble proved only too willing to oblige as he opened the other man's uniform and descended on a pert nipple. He swirled his tongue around it before biting it lightly, causing Renji to cry out. He moved to the other one and gave it the same treatment.

Byakuya had just finished taking off the uniform and pulled Renji's hardened member into his mouth when they heard voices outside. The captain sat up to listen for a moment, but then decided the matter at hand was more important. He was sucking hard on the member when the door opened with a bang.

"Heya, Renji. Since that bastard put you under house arrest on a Friday we thought you wouldn't want to miss the party. So, we decided to bring it to you! Now where are you-" Shuuhei stopped as he noticed the scene in front of him. Iba, Ikkaku, and Kira all pilled into the room behind him, and halted when they noticed Renji and Byakuya.

"That bastard" quickly pulled up and laid fully on top of Renji to shield him from the others' gazes. Then he glared at them, angry at being interrupted and daring them to say anything. Renji looked horror stricken and froze at the sight of his friends.

"I didn't know you were an uke, Renji!" Shuuhei called out, grinning at his friend's discomfort. Renji's face turned darker than his hair and he lay there, still immobile with shock. Byakuya concentrated his glare on the ninth division vice-captain who quickly wiped the smile off his face.

The atmosphere was tense when Yumichika walked into the room moments later carrying a tray of fruity looking pink drinks. It took him a second to asses the situation, seeing the position Renji was in, the glare Byakuya was sending and how pale Shuuhei had turned. He acted quickly. "Alright you buffoons, get out of here. I think I have some more liquor at my place we could break into. Move along," Yumichika called out happily, shoving the other four men out the door. He looked back for a second and winked to Byakuya before moving out.

"Holy shit," Renji cried, finally finding his voice and pulling out from under the noble, "Oh God, there's no way I'm ever going to live this down. I may as well just pack up and move out now." His fingers fumbled as he worked to retie his uniform and stand up.

"Where do you think you're going?" Byakuya positively growled, pulling the red head back onto the sofa.

Renji stammered, "I need to get out of here, they-"

"Were kind enough to go away so we could finish. Which we will," Byakuya stated as he began to undress the other man once more. Renji protested, but stopped as he felt his member engulfed once more. Maybe house arrest wasn't all bad.


	6. Guess Who

Word Count: 1,402  
Rating: PG-13 but only just  
Pairings: Renjix?  
Summary: Ichigo never knew Renji was gay, and now he's curious who his lover is...  
Note: Thank you for over 1,000 hits on this fic! That made me so happy today. Again, this is on a completely different timeline from everything else.

* * *

"So, what the hell do you guys do for Friday nights here?" Renji questioned Ichigo, practically bouncing around as he awaited the answer.

"Sleep," Ichigo replied coldly before returning to the book he was reading.

Matsumoto plopped onto the sofa next to the orange hair boy and leaned in close. "Oh come, on," she murmured to him, "That can't possibly be all you want to do."

Ichigo jumped nearly a foot in the air when he noticed how close she was. He quickly scuttled to the other end of the sofa. "No," everyone in the room looked hopefully at him, "I want you to go away too."

Ikkaku jumped forward and pulled the younger boy into a headlock. "Dammit! Take us somewhere."

"I think it would be good if we all got some sleep and prepared for the next day," Hitsugaya commented seriously, but he was drowned out by a chorus of "Boring" and "Shut up shorty".

"I could take us to my favorite sewing circle," Uryuu stated, pushing up his glasses with a finger, "Today we are working on buttons."

Tatsuki stood up from her place sitting by Orihime to punch solidly on the forehead. "Who the fuck would want to do that?"

"Let's go get a drink or something," Renji called out, not even waiting for a response as he stood up.

"Hell yeah!" Ikkakku seconded, dragging along Yumichika to catch up with the other shinigami.

Reluctantly the rest of the group followed. Ichigo lagged behind at the back, pushed forward by Rukia who insisted that it "wasn't healthy to stay home that much". Yumichika fell to the back of the group as well and spoke to Matsumoto about some sort of new hair product that he couldn't live without. Tatsuki rushed to the front of the group and gave Renji and Ikkaku directions to the nearest bar.

"You do realize that you're all supposed to be high schoolers," Ichigo muttered to Rukia, who was still pulling him along, "Which means you can't get alcohol."

Rukia gave him a mysterious smile, "Oh, don't worry, Renji has it covered."

Ichigo raised a questioning eyebrow, but that was all she said.

When the reached the bar, Renji strode boldly in front of the group, leading the way. He went straight to one of the bar maids and leaned in dangerously close to her. Ichigo strained to hear what he said. He couldn't and only saw the lady blush and wave the rest of the group in.

Ichigo stared in stunned silence at the bar, he'd never been in one before, "What the hell did he do to get us in here?" he quietly asked Rukia as they sat down.

"It's like a law: ladies love Renji," she answered simply, trying to decide what to get.

"What?" his eyebrows shot up so high they were in danger of disappearing.

Rukia shot him an exasperated look before turning away, "Not me, or any girl who really knows him. Renji's gay."

Ichigo nearly toppled off his seat at hearing this, "Since when!"

"Always."

"Well who's he with?" Ichigo questioned, getting impatient with Rukia's lack of interest in the conversation.

She turned to leer at him, "Why are you so interested?"

"I need to know."

"Fine, I'll tell you, but you have to guess it," Rukia grinned, apparently loving how agitated his made the orange haired man.

Ichigo frowned and turned to think about who might be with Renji. He didn't really care, it just bothered him how little he knew about his fellow shinigami. "What about…he was in the eleventh division, right? So how about Yumichika? Or maybe Ikkaku?"

Rukia merely smiled back at him, sipping on her drink, "I'm not going to tell you now. If you get it right I'll leave a note in your room tonight."

"What the hell kinda deal is that?" Ichigo shouted.

"But, if you don't get it in ten tries you'll have to buy me a whole season of Don Kanonji! Better get guessing then."

"Fuck. You should have told me! Now I wasted two guesses. What if I'd been joking and said Mayuri or something!" Ichigo ranted, but Rukia only held up three fingers. Well shit, this would be harder than he thought.

The group finished their drinks and decided to hit up an arcade. Renji marched forward, blissfully unaware of Ichigo watching him and trying to decided who the red head would be with. 'It's not someone like Hanatarou. Or any of the fourth division, I don't think he'd like that kind. What about that guy who he said always follows him around?'

"Oi, Rukia!" Ichigo called her back to where he was in the group, "What's the name of that little guy that worships Renji?"

Rukia thought for a moment before replying, "You mean Rikichi?"

"Yeah, whatever, is he the one?" When Rukia only grinned Ichigo stomped forward to the front of the group angrily. He was running out of guesses and he didn't know if he'd gotten it yet.

Apparently they didn't have DDR in the Soul Society because the group spent nearly three hours playing it. Hitsugaya was…disturbingly good at it when they forced him to try. Yumichika got so over excited about it, Ikkaku had to drag him home early. Matsumoto was okay at the game, but her goal seemed to be shaking her boobs around than actually doing the proper moves.

Ichigo sat in the corner occasionally telling Rukia a name. So far he had named: Ikkaku, Yumichika, Mayuri (but not by choice…), Rikichi, Kira (apparently Renji had known him from the academy, so it could be true), Shunsui (the guy wore flowers), Shuuhei, and Hitsugaya (which earned him a frown from Rukia). The only clues he'd been given so far were "he's alive" and "he's a shinigami". Rukia seemed to taking a certain amount of enjoyment in tormenting Ichigo about this.

They headed to their various homes at about eleven, and much to Ichigo's dismay he only had two guesses left and no idea if he'd said the correct person. "Fuck Rukia, why don't you just tell me?"

"Because I like annoying you," she answered truthfully while concentrating on opening a box of pocky.

"Come on, you gotta give me some clue. It's not someone creepy, right? Someone like Zaraki," Ichigo practically whined.

Rukia grimaced at the suggestion. It was difficult to imagine the gigantic captain with anyone. "So that's one guess."

"It's not fucking Byakuya is it?" Ichigo had no idea, he was just trying to remember more people from the Soul Society. It couldn't actually be the stoic Kuchiki-heir, but he had given up on guessing.

"Hey, don't talk about nii-sama like that!" Rukia reached over and bopped him on the head.

Renji sauntered up to their group and draped his arms over Ichigo and Rukia's shoulders. "What you saying about taichou?"

Ichigo continued to massage his hair and disentangled himself from Renji's arms, "We were just trying to guess who—"

Rukia cut him off by kicking his shin so Ichigo was left hopping around in pain, "Nothing," she finished for him cheerily.

Somewhat confused, Renji just shook his head and spoke, "Look, I was just wondering if I could stay at your place tonight."

"Erm, sure," Ichigo replied, his leg still in pain.

"You can have my room! I'll take Ichigo's closet," Rukia began to pull them both towards the house.

"Okay…"

Ichigo woke up in the middle of the night as a breeze ruffled his sheets. He didn't remember leaving the window open, but then Rukia was gone too so she must have left through it for a midnight walk. Sleepily, he padded over to close it—she could just use the front door like a normal person.

As Ichigo shut the window, he noticed a paper on his desk written in her hand writing. All it said was "You guessed it" in curly, loopy letters. Ichigo was so annoyed that he was reading to jump out the window and go make her tell him who, when a breeze wafted through the window yet again. Several sakura petals floated into his room, landing neatly on his desk. Ichigo heard the distinct sound of someone sneaking into the room next to his and that was all he needed to tell who Renji's lover was.

Damn Rukia and her mind games. She could have just told him.

* * *

Thank you for reading! I've got some more fics in line to upload, but a special bonus fic if three more people review! 


	7. Hairy Situation

Title: Hairy Situation  
For: **kotszok**  
Request: RenjixShuuhei; Hair fetish  
Warning(s): None really, just a little language…and some fetishes.  
Rating: PG-13

Notes: Sooooo sorry this took forever.I was really busy all of January and don't have an excuse for February.I was looking through here and realized I'd posted a bunch of fics on my LJ but not on here, soI'll try to get more up here. Some thanks to felkwafi for helping with brainstorming this fic.

* * *

"But, you're not Renji. He has long hair! " Shuuhei stared as Renji entered the apartment. Even when the other man turned around to close the door, he couldn't stop staring. It wasn't until Renji came right in front of him and shook his shoulders that his brain caught up. 

"Who the fuck are you?" Hisagi blurted out, saying the first thing that came to mind.

Renji rolled his eyes and made his way to the kitchen, "Happy to see ya' too," he muttered.

Shuuhei scrambled forward and followed the other man through the door, "But, you're not Renji. He has long hair!" And indeed, the man in front of him looked exactly the same as Renji, except for the hair that just brushed the top of his shoulders.

That seemed to strike a nerve as the red-head froze and slowly turned around, "Does it look like anything is wrong with my hair?" he asked, voice getting louder as he spoke.

Letting out a rather undignified squeak, Shuuhei backed away from the approaching man. Yes, this was in deed Renji. No one else had a temper quite like that. Except for maybe Zaraki-taichou, but this was definitely not him. For the moment Hisagi gave up, fleeing the kitchen until Renji had cooked off his anger.

Dinner was a tense affair. Shuuhei desperately wanted to ask what had happened to the other man's hair, but valued his life enough to know not to. So he sat silently, trying to imagine all the possible ways Renji's hair might have been cut. There were the more likely options such as "He just wanted a change." Or, the more outrages ideas his mind supplied such as "The eleventh-division decided to make a training exercise out of who could get close enough to cut it first." (Coincidentally, this idea might not have been so far-fetched as that exact thing had happened to Hanatarou earlier that week when he had gotten in the way of a couple over-excited members of the eleventh. Let's say Unohana was terrifying when mad)

It wasn't until later that night, after an amazing round of make-up sex (even though Shuuhei wasn't entirely sure they were fighting) when Renji was gently dozing off to sleep. He muttered in a voice laced with exhaustion, "It was Kuchiki-taichou….mmm, during a mission. Had to cut it…"

Instantly, Shuuhei was wide awake. He was tempted to run over to the six-division headquarters right now to demand the reason the other captain had seen fit to deprive him of his favorite attribute of his lover. But, after counting to ten, he realized that the other man might not be so willing to answer any questions and might just ban-kai his ass right out of the soul society, seeing as it was three in the morning on a work night. Silently, Hisagi vowed to himself that he would see to this in the morning first thing. Well, maybe second thing, after another round.

Both Shuuhei and Renji were rather late to work the next morning, as well as rather worn out from their recent roll in the sack. Renji strode forward towards work, blissfully unaware that his lover had doubled back after saying good by and was tailing him, waiting for the vice-captain to leave the office so he could question Kuchiki-taichou.

Such an opportunity arose almost immediately as the eleventh-division had just "declared war" on the fourth and Renji was called in to mediate and begin peace talks. Shuuhei quickily made his way into the sixth division offices, where he barged right into the captain's office.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Hisagi shouted, forgetting he was talking to a superior and not really caring at the moment, "How could you cut it? Is this some kind of revenge?"

Both Byakuya and Hitsugaya looked up from the form they had been pouring over to stare blankly at Shuuhei. Only then did his brain catch-up with him and he realized what he was doing.

"I'll, um, just wait outside. Um, I guess," the vice-captain stammered before fleeing the room. Byakuya and Hitsugaya resumed their conversation as though nothing had happened.

Shuuhei waited in a chair outside the office, nervously tapping his foot. Beside him sat a young girl with black hair. He only vaguely recognized her from a picture Renji had shown him. Her name was "Rukia" or something.

"So, what are you in for?" she asked casually, as though it where the most normal thing to have some man come barging into the offices making accusations.

"Erm, what?" Shuuhei replied intelligently.

She looked at him impatiently, "I'm asking why you have to talk to my brother. The only people that ever come are for business or punishment."

"Well, he took something of mine, and I want to know why," Hisagi replied, mentally adding "Not to mention chew him out for it."

For another moment Rukia stared at him, before recognition finally came to her, "Hey, wait. Aren't you that guy Renji's fu—"

Shuuhei hurriedly stood up as the door to Byakuya's office opened and Hitsugaya came out. Immediately he strode in there and assumed the position he's had before. "How could you cut Renji's Hair?" he demanded. Byakuya only raised an eyebrow in response.

They sat there, staring at each other (actually Shuuhei was giving more of a death glare), engaging in a furious mental battle. The vice-captain quickly broke under the infamous Kuchiki-taichou blank stare and he took a deep breath to collect his thoughts before starting again, "Under what circumstances yesterday was Renji's hair—cut," he stammered the last word, loathe to admit what had happened was real.

"We were on mission dealing with some hollows," Byakuya started, sounding bored and un-interested, "when Renji committed a grievous mistake resulting in his getting pulled towards a hollow by his hair. I acted immediately to save his life and cut the hair."

Hisagi let out a shuddering breath. He didn't know he'd come that close to losing his lover. But, that didn't stop on question from running through his mind, "Why didn't you cut the hollow's arm off instead of Renji's Hair."

Byakuya quirked his eyebrow once again, "I took the best course of action that could be carried out quickly. I hardly think something so trivial as hair is a great loss."

"But, it's silky, and smooth and wonderful—," Shuuhei whined, quickly becoming lost in a fantasy of the other man's hair.

"Is that all, Hisagi-fukutaichou?" Byakuya interrupted, already standing up to show the other man the door.

"Yeah, yeah I guess so," Hisagi replied dreamily, somewhat put out at being pulled out of his daydream.

Byakuya opened the door and forcefully moved Shuuhei out it. And, was it just the light or did it look like he was smirking smugly as he closed it again?

That night Renji returned home to a romantic candlelit dinner fully prepared and Shuuhei waiting at the door. "The fuck's this about?" Renji asked, ever articulate.

"Well I was thinking, and erm, I just wanted to say that I love you, no matter what kind of hair style you have," Shuuhei said as he moved in to kiss the other man.

Renji returned the kiss before pulling back to look at his lover, "Even if I go bald like Ikkaku?"

Shuuhei looked stunned for a moment before replying, "I hope you never do, but yes," they both shuddered at the thought of Renji without hair, "Let's just forget that thought and eat, yeah?"

"Heh, love ya' too," Renji responded gruffly as he descended on the meal.

In his office Byakuya looked up to ensure that the door was closed and no one would be opening it soon. Swiftly he reached into his desk and pulled out a thick bunch of Renji's recently chopped off hair.

"Mmm," he exhaled softly, bringing the hair to his face and rubbing his cheek against it, "Definitely silky and smooth…wonderful."


	8. Always Your Princess

**Always Your Princess  
**Word Count: 425  
Rating: PG  
Pairings: Yumichikax…Kenpachi o.O  
Word Prompt: Princess  
Note: This was on my LJ months ago, but I thought I should put it up here. Thanks for reading! Birthday giftie for FELKWAFI!

* * *

"Okay, so the goal is to catch the damn hollows and kill 'em all. Any questions?" Kenpachi glared at the division assembled in front of him. He looked over all of them, menacingly, daring them to ask a question when he noticed, "Alright, dismissed. Except for Yumichika, get the hell up here."

Ayasekawa grinned, making the air around him sparkle, as he bounced up to his captain's seat. "You called?"

For a moment Kenpachi had to shield his eyes against the bright light that seemed to be surrounding his subordinate, "Yeah, uh, what the hell're you wearin'?"

With a flounce and a few more sparkles, Yumichika paraded around the chair so the other man could get a good look at his clothing. "Well, since I couldn't join you guys on this one due to my broken arm, I wanted to still be able to help you guys out. In a beautiful way, of course."

Kenpachi shoved the other shinigami to the ground, forcing him to stop parading around. "But why the hell are you wearing…women's clothes!" his voice got more desperate as he continued. Guys shouldn't be allowed to wear a skirt that short.

"Oh, these?" Yumichikia wiped some invisible dirt from his shirt and looked flattered that the captain had noticed, "I asked that Quincy guy for something to cheer you guys on in and he made me this. Perfect, isn't it? I guess in the human world they're called 'Cheerleader' uniforms."

"Those are women's clothes!" Kenpachi roared and Yumichikia began to frown.

"You don't like them?" he began to advance on the gigantic captain, who began to look rather alarmed by the current situation. "I had them made specifically for you…" Ayasekawa trailed off as he seated himself in Kenpachi's lap. "After all," he lowered his voice and whispered into the other man's ear, "You said I am your princes."

With that, he sparkled once more and hopped off the chair. He waved at the stunned captain and then quickly disappeared. Zaraki stared at where the other man had just been standing before coming to his senses. "I was fucking drunk! No idea what I was saying, now get back here so I can kill you!"

Ikkaku stopped in the doorway and watched as his fearsome captain rushed out, his face somewhat red. The bald shinigami didn't have a clue what was going on, but given how damn pleased Yumichika had looked earlier, he figured that the report he was going to deliver could wait. Now would be a good time to hide.


	9. Sweet Tooth

**Sweet Tooth  
**Word Count: 565  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairings: KiraxPervert!Byakuya  
Word Prompt: Sprinkle  
Note: Again, posted on LJ a long time ago. I hope all this posting will somewhat make up for the long absence. Thanks for reading!

* * *

"Kira?" Ikkaku called out as he spotted the captain on the other side of the room.

Kira carefully juggled a pile of folders in his arms so that he could see the other man, "Erm, yes?"

"I brought over some of the paperwork Zaraki needed from you," he brandished a folder filled with all kinds of forms.

"I'll take them, I suppose," Kira replied, trying to rearrange the things in his arms so as to take it from Ikkaku.

"Look, do you need some help, maybe?" Ikkaku grabbed some of the stack from Kira's arms.

"Thank you," Kira sighed in relief at not dropping anything, "My office is just down the hall."

The two shinigami stepped into the office door that Kira opened, careful not to drop any papers. "Drop them where ever you like, there's no real order," he called back over his shoulder.

Ikkaku carefully set the stack of papers on a chair and turned to face the newly-appointed captain, "Do you want to…" he muttered before straightening up, "A few of us were gonna go out for drinks tonight. Wanna come along?"

Kira looked past Ikkaku's shoulders out the window, trying to remember his schedule for the evening. "I don't think I have anything," a tall figure walked past the window and towards the door to enter his office, "…that I could cancel. Sorry about that, maybe another time."

For a second longer, Ikkaku stared at him before coughing and blushing slightly, "Well that's fine. Just wonderin'. Zaraki needs those papers by tomorrow, if you can."

"Certainly," Kira replied softly, turning slightly to look through his open office door.

They stood in an awkward silence for a moment before Ikkaku remembered his was supposed to get immediately back to the office, "Be seeing you around then."

Kira nodded as he moved to the door. Right in front of the open door Ikkaku stopped, looking at the carpet and slowly taking another step. "There's something colorful in here," he bent down to better examine the floor, "Kira, there's sprinkles in your carpet. Kinda crunchy."

For some reason, this made the captain blush beet red and mutter about "just a snack and all". Ikkaku didn't bother trying to make sense of this and continued out the door. On leaving the building he nearly ran into Byakuya in his haste to get away.

Byakuya walked into the office and carefully quirked his eyebrow at Kira. "Something happen?"

Kira muttered before gesturing at the sprinkle-covered carpet. Byakuya smirked and reached into one of his billowing sleeves to retrieve a can of whip cream. As he moved towards the other nervous-looking man, the noble was careful to kick the door closed.

"You can't really blame me really," he said with an all but lecherous grin, "I've got such a sweet tooth and you're so tasty."

The other captain only moaned in response as Byakuya carefully squirted some whip cream on his neck and began to lick it off. "Maybe this time we leave something else on the carpet for him to find."

"That's so dirty!" Kira squeaked, squirming as the other man removed his robes.

Byakuya stopped and smirked at him, "I wasn't thinking anything like that. But, since you seem to want to…"

Kira gulped as whip cream was squirted on his chest and Byakuya began to remove it. Ikkaku would find something more interesting indeed.

* * *

Let's take a vote, should I continue? 


End file.
